It doesn’t announce itself. It doesn’t build an audience around it. Most of the time no one is watching. For years I believed leadership had to look very different. The entrepreneurial world I entered rewarded the visible version of it. Be big. Be bright. Be bold. Stand out. Success amplified by social shares declaring six-figure businesses, bestselling books and unstoppable confidence.

I thought this was the path I had to take. I tried to replicate the strategy blueprints. Create my own signature programme and be what I thought I had to be to be successful to make an impact to thrive. As I struggled to replicate these systems, I thought this meant that I was a failure. Until I could show up all shiny and polished online with a signature system, an automated webinar sequence and visually superb download, I thought I was unsuccessful.

Yet I hadn’t reached the understanding I have today. I tried in my own way to bring more openness and vulnerability to the spaces I came across because I felt the disconnect from the lies dressed up as marketing tactics. Best selling maybe but only because the Amazon algorithm can be manipulated. 6 figures business? Profit? Turnover? Or some other approach which isn’t quite a lie but isn’t fully rooted in truth and transparency.

I am so tired of the lack of authenticity. The small lies which become big lies and the people affected by reading them. I’m curious. I’m mindful that while sharing success to attract clients has become acceptable, it also creates a divide. Us v them. I have what you want. Pay me and I will tell you the secret.

The problem is that this is not a treasure hunt. Not one guru holds the magical key to your success. No one has the foolproof blueprint. Advice can help, books can guide you, courses can sharpen your thinking but you remain the common denominator in everything you build.

You are your guide. Your body holds signals worth listening to. You are enough. You deserve to be seen. The more deeply you understand who you are and what you stand for, the easier it becomes to trust your direction. I believe that you move towards the things that create energy and excitement for you and move away that create heavy emotions and stress.

Yes, some days we have to attend to the mundane but every day is a chance to give yourself the gift of presence. Presence with yourself, what do you need? Presence with those around you, are you fully in the room with those next to you or are you in an imaginary place with people on your phone?

Quiet leadership doesn’t need applause. It shows up in the small private moments where you stop outsourcing authority. Where you question the narratives you’ve absorbed. Where you notice what energises you and what drains you and begin adjusting your direction accordingly.

No one is announcing it. No one is measuring it.

But in those moments you are doing the most fundamental act of leadership there is.

You are leading your own life.

Spaces where this kind of leadership is explored are rare, which is why I built Like Hearted Leaders. A place for people doing this quieter work to think together and be witnessed in the process.

Until next time

Claire 💛

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If I’d been walking with a friend, I wouldn’t have hesitated to offer to carry the bags but here was a stranger not even in proximity to me. I knew nothing about her relationship to receiving help and how comfortable she would be if I offered.

I stalled. The part of me telling me just to focus on my day and not involve myself. She was after all managing and she of course knew that she’d have bags to carry. Yet I couldn’t. I crossed the road...

As I reflect , what had made me stall? Why didn’t I run straight up to her the moment I saw her and offer to help? Fear. Worst case she’d ignore me or alternatively she’d decline. Neither of which would kill me but they would have upset my ego. Rejection is painful.

Yet are we ever rejected? Or is it always a redirection? A gentle nudge by above to say, not this way, there is a better way. This is not for you. Move on. Find something more aligned.

Or perhaps rejection is just a way to remind us that we are all on our own journeys and it’s not really about the other. We are all on our own unique path. We all have our own perspectives and own reasons for the decisions we make. Merely being in proximity to someone doesn’t mean you can read their needs.

And yet, when I crossed the road and asked if I could carry her bags, she said yes. Just like that. There was no awkwardness. No rejection. No story playing out in the way my mind had rehearsed.

As we walked together for a few minutes, I learnt that her father had just died and perhaps what I had perceived earlier as unfriendliness was in fact the grief she was navigating quietly as she walked to the shops.

On reflection it makes me think about how often we hesitate on the edge of connection because we are trying to protect ourselves from some moment of discomfort? How easily do we dress it up as something else, we tell ourselves, we are minding our own business or they don’t want to hear from us and we make it right to maintain distance.

Today, it wasn’t really about the bags. It was about a willingness to step through the discomfort of moving towards connection, a small risk in exchange for perhaps a heartfelt human connection.

There is so much loneliness in the world. Some is seen and some is behind the scenes. A quiet disconnection with what it is to be human but we can all take opportunities to move towards connection, hidden behind these tiny and perhaps unremarkable moments. Crossing a road. Making a phone call. Sending a text. Smiling at a stranger.

So perhaps rejection isn’t the thing we need to fear. Perhaps indifference is.

So my invitation to you today is to consider where in your life you may be stalling.

What fear is holding you back?

Could you cross the road too?

With love

Claire 💛

Most of my life isn’t online. When my sister has a birthday, I send her a message, post her a gift, or talk to her on the phone, sometimes all three but I don’t put it on social media.

When I bought a car , a car I funded through a coaching programme I launched purely because otherwise I would have been carless I didn’t post it online. Even though when I fetched it there was a fanfare around it, balloons and big reveals and all the rest.

Running a business of my own, I know we have to gain trust from an audience. We have to show that we are credible. Often I see this as business owners sharing pictures of fancy cars, houses or holidays. I assume it’s meant to inspire the audience to work with them indirectly promising the same luxuries if they adopt their approach.

However, after 13 years as a business owner, I know that we are all super unique and while we can take advice from others, which in many cases accelerates potential success , it is by no means a direct route.

It may inspire us to take action. But how do these shares actually make us feel?

Today is Valentine’s Day. So many posts online. Sharing the love of partnerships for all to see. Yet again I don’t understand why we have to take something so intimate and move it online. Is it that partners don’t feel seen unless it is recognised publicly? Or is it something else?

I don’t know the answer. But I feel disconnection rise within me when I see a lot of this content.

When life appears full of fancy houses, holidays, cars and loving partners highlighted on the regular, surely that cannot be healthy for those who would love to live that life but, for whatever reason, don’t.

Online sharing is shallow because it only shows a snapshot. Yet when do we, as consumers of that content, step into the awareness that we are only being invited into a slight peek into someone’s life. without any real depth?

Celebrities do this constantly. And often, behind the scenes, everything is falling apart. But in the moment, when someone is scrolling, all they see is the perfection. Comparison can be a painful place to be.

Does it really add value to the world to constantly show how amazing your partner is and how shiny your new car looks after your ideal partner washed it, ran you a bath and dropped rose petals around it?

I exaggerate. But hopefully you see my point.

Life has ups and downs. Social media is not life.

We think we are so connected because of it, yet I would argue it has led many of us to feel more disconnected, lonely and disheartened.

Like Hearted Leaders and my expansion into the Like Hearted Community is my way of counteracting what I see happening. I believe we need to deepen our conversations. To really open up about what it is actually like to be human in today’s world.

I want to create more opportunities for people to gather in community with like hearted people.

Community will save the world.

And I’m here for it.

There is so much comfort in feeling that we are in control of our circumstances but when we want to grow we must learn to embrace the unknown, where outcomes haven’t been experienced and possibility is wide open, trust is your only real ally.

Individually this can be difficult as we are confronted with a new path, a new set of circumstance, a new way of being but at the same time we may have to deal with the resistance of others who witness us evolving. Our change can be difficult for our closest circle . Who is this person? It’s unsettling. It’s unknown.

This week I facilitated a panel discussion at a local event and someone shared a story of navigating change and the reactions of their family members. It reminded me of my own journey. A qualified solicitor, meeting the expectations of those around me and of a society that loves to use career choices to create the illusions of our enoughness.

They knew the Claire from before. The good girl, who did as she was told, to please those around her. Her intention, albeit unconscious was just to be seen. To be loved. To be accepted. She performed well until she decided to step towards the unknown.

Looking back now I’m not sure what motivated me to keep going but perhaps it was because I connected so deeply with my authentic self. I connected with the parts of me that weren’t conforming to the world I lived in just because society told me what was acceptable.

What I do know now, is that my journey became a lonely one and in many regards has remained one of disconnection from the world and others, in order to allow myself the space to slowly remove the veils that have been covering my true essence. My boundaries were too flexible for close relationships and I leaned into connections with people at distance or online who I felt saw the world a similar way. I felt like I had two lives.

In 2020, when I began what was to become Like Hearted Leaders, it was a call out for community. My need for connection and deep conversations with others who were like hearted. Who saw the world in a similar way.

It created a space where I wasn’t the Claire everyone else knew me as. It was the Claire who wanted more. Who wanted to grow and expand and squeeze every last drop out of the human experience.

The journey has taken me places. Some places that I never wanted to go. Deep grief at the loss of the most profound spiritual connection that I’ve ever had but with that loss a deeper understanding of how I so easily can give away my power, allow my boundaries to be overstepped and fail to receive because I just so desperately wanted to feel the same love that I put out in the world. I realise now that the love is within me. It’s in the self trust I work hard to nurture and it’s in recognising the gifts within myself.

None of us are broken. We just forgot who we really are under the weight of what it is to be human. We have all taken on others expectations. Others fears. We do it so easily when connection feels like it might be lost if we don’t.

Like Hearted Leaders has become a weekly space to explore and expand who you think you are. A space to hold others through transitions, be that loss of a loved one, a career, a new job, the breakdown of a relationship. Yet it is also a space of joy. A space where we witness each other tapping into our authentic selves and flourishing.

We aren’t your family but it feels like family. We don’t judge but try to listen, to reflect and support. Many stay for years some stay for a little while until they find their feet but everyone who comes along is special. They matter and I make it my mission to ensure they feel seen and heard in that precious hour on a Friday morning.

Yes change can be difficult but the only thing that is certain in life is uncertainty and my best advice to you would be find a space to belong, with others who see you because being loved for who you are, just as you are is something we should all experience.

With love for the week ahead

Claire 💛

ps we are open for new members at Like Hearted Leaders. We meet online weekly. The hour you didn’t know you needed. Find out more here.

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The hours lost to scrolling others content. The search for the right approach. The unfamiliarity of a new platform.

I find myself agitated.

I start to type these words and I’m interrupted. Again. Again.

I sit with the agitation. I don’t feel comfortable on Substack. I don’t know the platform well. Yet a part of me calls me forward to just write something.

A year has passed since I tried to move from my own website for my weekly newsletter to Substack. That year has brought change.

A calling to keep working on creating the Like Hearted Community.

I’m into my sixth year of my weekly online community, Like Hearted Leaders. This past year I’ve been deep into reflecting what exactly that community is. Why it matters and why many members stay for years.

Like Hearted Leaders (LHL) is the hour in your week that you didn’t know you needed. A check in for yourself and an hour of deep connection with others. The leadership angle refers to purely your own leadership of your life.

Deep transformations have happened in that space and the community help and hold each other in the moments between those Friday meetups. That is the true definition of community. Yes I lead the meetings but much magic happens outside of that time because LH’ers have a deep sense of connection and belonging.

In a world which easily allows us to fall into solitude without us even realising it, community is more needed than ever. Like a wolf in sheeps clothing social media lulls us to believe that we have connection. We think we know the other but all we really see is the curated posts of other humans hoping to be seen.

Living their best life. Eating out with friends. On holiday with a loved one but the picture is incomplete. We piece together the pictures and compare our lives, mapping our happiness against perceived norms.

If only we had their relationship, car, job, insights, opportunities then … we’d be ok. (We tell ourselves.)

Life is an illusion.

Life is a projection of our thoughts, manipulated to match the stories in our heads.

We need to break out of this cycle. Bring love where there is fear. Bring hope where there is despair. Bring depth to connection.

The Likehearted Community is my attempt to bring that connection to life. To create space for like hearted humans to have a deeper type of conversation. That goes beyond the curated and leads us to remember that beyond the stories, the illusions, the comparisons we are worthy of love, abundance , happiness and connection. We’ve just forgotten.

Until next time. Thank you for being here.

Claire (with love) .🧡

I’ve been quiet for a while. I’ve made half a move to Substack but it feels like I’m starting from scratch. It’s stopped me writing and with that the weeks slip by.

I haven’t got much to say but I just wanted to say hello. I wanted to write something.

One small step forward.

Mainly though I am writing because I want to show up with the truth. The truth is, I feel stuck and I continue to want to hide.

I noticed recently that I hardly have any recent photos of me. Years ago I had plenty. I had so much energy. I was on stages and on social media everyday.

Now I don’t know what I want to do apart from the fact that I want to create spaces for people to feel seen and heard.

I’m really interested in creating a workshop to explore what I’ve been calling the human void. To me the human void is something that many of us experience. A feeling that something is missing.

It could be a lingering sense of unfulfilment, a desire for deeper relationships or a longing for greater purpose. I think that rather than see these feelings as negative we can instead use these feelings as invitation to grow.

I don’t have a full plan on how to execute this but I’m taking steps to explore it. All I do know for certain is that my own community Like Hearted Leaders is coming up to its five year anniversary and it’s a transformational space. I think we need more spaces like this in the world and if I can do it once, I can do it again.

I share all of this with you because I know that it can be hard to motivate yourself and to show up when running a business and I think it’s ok to acknowledge this once in a while. We can be so hard on ourselves. Let’s normalise the journey and give light to the days, weeks, months when you feel like you are going round in circles.

So I think that’s all I have for now. My heart is a little heavy at the moment. However, brighter days are coming, for me and for you, so give yourself grace.

Big love

Claire :)

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We aren’t that different from each other .

We like to think we are . We try to stand out . We need to be seen. We need to be heard .

Celebrities adored to vilified . We build them up and then break them down when they buckle under their humanness.

How easily society spins on its axis .

If only . We say.

Many who achieve, quickly realise the void can’t be filled .

Fame , money, sex , drugs . Searching. Questioning .

The void .

The Human Void .

Let the exploration begin.

Your guide .

Claire. Mother. Friend.Lawyer. Entrepreneur. Confidante. Consultant. Daughter. Sister. Speaker. Community builder. Author. Failure. Winner. Loved. Dumped. Happy. Sad. Grief stricken. Confident. Scared. Open and closed. Vulnerable. Resilient. Grateful.

Being human is hard .

Let’s have the conversations.

Stay curious.

I have no answers. Only questions for the seekers.

Until next time .

Claire ♡

#likeheartedcommunity

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